I am often surprised that in the positive thinking, you bring about what you think about community, there is a world of advice on what to stop doing. I was reminded of this again yesterday when I saw a post about 5 things to quit right now. This reminded me of my high school child development class, and how to ask a child to stop doing something. You don’t. Instead of telling a young child what not to do you give them an alternative of what to do. For example, what not to say, “Johnny stop using those scissors to cut your sisters hair” what to say “Johnny use the scissors to cut this paper and make me a surprise.” Now Johnny gets to use scissors and his sister doesn’t have a new hair style (and it’s always this easy <insert sarcasm font>).
This tactic has bounced around in my head for years and served me well, and honestly I think as an adult I have benefited far more from focusing on what to start doing instead of what to quit. After what I read yesterday I decided that rather than give some trite advice on what you should wake up today and not do, I would provide some suggestion on what you to do, with one more reminder, use baby steps. The thing that may prevent us from progress is the thought that it all has to be done, and perfected, today, right now, hurray up, no mistakes. Instead wake up and make a choice to do one or two small things, in a more helpful, congruent manner will help encourage you to keep going because lots of small victories are much better than sitting on the couch trying to figure out how to quit doing something that you’ve always done.
- Be pleased with yourself. When you have that really amazing thought today, especially if it’s about something that seems insignificant, pat yourself on the back and be pleased that your amazing brain was amazing. Seeing how awesome you are will help you see how awesome others are. When you begin to see the goodness in yourself you will better recognize it in others.
- Embrace Change. Especially the small kind (like deciding what to have for dinner at 4 pm instead of 6 pm). The change that only you will notice because it’s so small AND so important to helping you guide your ship the direction you want it to go. When you do this see #1, and pat yourself on the back for being AMAZING.
- Live in the present. Show up today and make today all about today, right now. Not 5 minutes from now, not yesterday or last week but today. Start by doing this for 3 minutes a day. Stand outside, see the trees, smell the smells, feel the weather, touch the ground, and be fully present in that moment. As you bring yourself present with today, out in nature, you’ll get to see the small changes that everyday brings, and you’ll probably have a really amazing thought. See #1, pat yourself on the back for being AMAZING.
- Put yourself UP. Look at yourself in the mirror, directly in the eyes, and say “I matter.” Because you do. You’re probably going to have a really amazing thought, and before you tell it to go away, STOP! See #1 be pleased with how awesome you are that you looked at yourself and thought good things about YOU!
- Baby steps. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. When you start to shut down STOP looking at the big picture, find the little picture and pick a baby step out of that and move towards that. You’ll have a good thought see #1 pat yourself on the back and think about how much you matter.
When you have that good thought and want to share, but are scared and don’t know who to share it with, share it with me. I am here to tell you that the baby steps will get your there, you matter, and it’s okay to say how amazing you are.